True Doctor Stories
Posted on Jul 25, 2007
True Doctor Stories >.......................................................... > A man comes into the ER and yells, > "My wife's going to > have her baby in the > cab!" I grabbed my stuff, > rushed out to the cab, > lifted the lady's --Dress, > and began to take off her > underwear. Suddenly I > noticed that there were > several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. > > --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX >---------------------------------------------------------- > > > > At the beginning of my shift > I placed a stethoscope on > an elderly and > slightly deaf female patient's > anterior chest wall. > Big breaths," I > instructed. "Yes, they used to be," > remorsefully > replied the patient. > > --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA > > --------------------------------------------------------- > One day I had to be the bearer > of bad news when I told > a wife that her > husband had died of a massive > myocardial infarct. Not > more than five minutes > later, I heard her reporting > to the rest of the family > that he had died of a > "massive internal fart." > > --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada > --------------------------------------------------------- > > > I was performing a complete physical, > including the > visual acuity test. I > placed the patient twenty > feet from the chart and > began, "Cover your right > eye with your hand." He read > the 20/20 line perfectly. > "Now your left." > Again, a flawless read. " Now both," > I requested. There > was silence. He > couldn't even read the > large E on the top line. I > turned and discovered that > he had done exactly what > I had asked; he was standing > there with both h is > eyes covered. I was laughing > too hard to finish the exam. > > --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA >---------------------------------------------------------- > > During a patient's two week > follow-up appointment with > his cardiologist, he > informed me, his doctor, > that he was having trouble > with one of his > medications. Which one?" > I asked. The patch. The nurse > told me to put on a > new one every six hours and > now I'm running out of > places to put it!" I had > him quickly undress and > discovered what I hoped I > wouldn't see. > > Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! > > Now the instructions include removal of > the old patch before applying a new one. > > --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA > --------------------------------------------------------- > > While acquainting myself with > a new elderly patient, I > asked, "How long have > you been bed-ridden?" > After a look of complete > confusion she answered, > "Why, not for about twenty years > -- when my husband was alive." > > --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR > > --------------------------------------------------------- > I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, > "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" > "It's very good, except for the Kentucky > Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," > the patient replied. I then asked to see the > jelly and the woman produced a foil packet > labeled "KY Jelly." > > --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI >---------------------------------------------------------- > > And Finally . . . . > > > A new, young MD doing his > residency in OB was quite > embarrassed performing > female pelvic exams. To cover > his embarrassment he had > unconsciously formed > a habit of whistling softly. > > The middle aged lady upon whom > he was performing this > exam suddenly burst > out laughing and further > embarrassed him. He looked up > from his work and > sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. > Was I tickling you?" > > She replied, "No doctor, > but the song you were > whistling was 'I wish I was > an Oscar Meyer Wiener." > > --won't admit his name ----------------------------------------------------------- Psalm 90:14 "O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days"...
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