Number One Idiot of 2007 -

. I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because

she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that

the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her

daughter into the hospital. .

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention

that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the

ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency

room right away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2007 .

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal

a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out

of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the

river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.

.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator

beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2007 .

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank

of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all

your muny in this bag."

. While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began

to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the

police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of

America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells

Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that

he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not

accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America

deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo

deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,"OK" and left. He was arrested a

few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2007 .

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a

bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter

on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the

cashier refused and said, "I can't, because I don't believe you are over

21."

. The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him

because he didn't believe him.

.

At that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet

and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the

man was in fact over 21, and he put the Scotch in the bag.

.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly

called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he

got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2007

.

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving

revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"

.

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Six Idiot of 2007 .

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just

throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and

run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the>

window.

The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the

head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was

made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Seven Idiot of 2007 .

Ann Arbor:

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded

cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the

cash register without a food order.

.

When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available

for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

=================

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?