Wonderful Philosophical Ponderances
Posted on Feb 21, 2007
(This looked so nice in Dk Blue and Bold!)1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't
even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed
with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess"
on it. So I said. "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just
standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get
one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They
know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a
screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the
airport the terminal?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too
many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and
Shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that
one special person you want to annoy for the rest of
your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore,
I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for
number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run
for President and 50 for Miss America?
15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant
like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't
want to see naked?
17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear
Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know
where it's been!"
19. A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you
saying, "Damn...that was fun
[ Back to top ]
Created with ShoutPost
