Caretaker

CARETAKER
At dawn the telephone rings.
.
"Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
.
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
.
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"
.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International Competition?"
.
"Si, that's the one."
.
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What
did he die from?"
.
"From eating rotten meat."
.
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
.
"Nobody senor. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
.
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
.
"The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky. He died from all that work pulling
the water cart."
.
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
.
"The one we used to put out the fire."
.
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
.
"The one at your house! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."
.
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What
was the candle for?"
.
"For the funeral."
.
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
.
"Your mother-in-law's...She showed up one night out of the blue, and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike
Driver."
.
SILENCE......

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