Lines to make you smile
Posted on Mar 27, 2007
>THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE>>
>>
>>1.. My husband and I divorced over religious
>differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
>>
>>2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>>3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
>>4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>>5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>>6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
>>7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
>>8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>>9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>>10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
>>11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
>>13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>>14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>>15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>>16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>>17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
>>18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
>Be When I Grew up.
>>
>>19.. Procrastinate Now!
>>20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
>Fries With That?
>>
>>21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>>22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
>>23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>>24..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>>25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
>>26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses
>up three thousand times the memory.
>>
>>27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
>>for a pig.
>>28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>>29.. The original point and click interface was a
>Smith and Wesson.
>>
>>30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Froggie (2007-03-27)
Thanks for the chuckles! I needed a "pick me up" today.
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