Barnabus

Accept what is...Quit wishing for what ain't

Old Age Prediction

Posted on Oct 31, 2007

This one was fun, I'm only going to live 9 more years - long enough to send lots of e-mails!!! hehe

This is pretty interesting. Be sure to watch the age prediction on the top left of the screen change as you answer the various questions.

Click here: http://www.nmfn.com/tnetwork/longevity_game_popup.html



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

This is toooo funny!!!!

Posted on Oct 31, 2007

A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party the host said, "I have a 10 foot man eating gator in my pool and I' ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in. " The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud spash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking it's ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head buts, and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising Hell.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it floa t to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars." "No, that's okay, I don't want it." said Leroy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?" "No thanks, I don't want it," answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said NO.
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"
Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool."


Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!



1 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Fizzy Drinks

Posted on Oct 30, 2007

Let's start with the bottom line: There are no healthy choices when it

comes to fizzy or soft drinks.

You probably heard about the recent study that found a link between

soft drinks and increased heart disease risk. Well, that's just the

surface. Look a little closer and you'll see the true risk is even

worse. Worse than heart disease? Yes, even worse than heart disease,

because heart disease is just part of the deal.

Last month, researchers with the Framingham Heart Study reported on a

four-year trial that followed the fizzy-drink habits of more than 6,000

healthy subjects. The average age of the cohort was about 53. Results

showed that subjects who drank one or more fizzy drinks each day were

nearly 45 percent more likely to develop these symptoms of metabolic

syndrome: obesity, increased waist circumference, impaired fasting

glucose, higher blood pressure, high triglycerides, and higher LDL

cholesterol. When three or more of these symptoms are diagnosed in one

patient, risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes rises significantly.

Researchers were most surprised to find that diet fizzy drinks had the

same effect. Susan Neely, president of the American Beverage

Association, posed this question to the Associated Press: "How can

something with zero calories that's 99 percent water with a little

flavouring in it...cause weight gain?"

Even though that's a wild oversimplification of the contents of a diet

fizzy drink, there are actually three likely reasons why diet fizzy

drink drinkers might gain weight:

1) Zero calorie fizzy drinks are just as sweet as sugar-laden fizzy

drinks, so they create a craving for more sweets

2) People who drink lots of liquids with a meal tend to eat more at the

following meal

3) People who drink fizzy drinks (either diet or regular) often have

less healthy diets compared to non-fizzy drink drinkers

And there are two other factors that might play a role in increasing

metabolic syndrome symptoms:

1) Studies with animals have shown that the substance used to create

caramel colour in colas and other soft drinks may cause inflammation

and insulin resistance

2) In previous research, diet and regular fizzy drink intake has been

linked to obesity in the young and high blood pressure in older

subjects

Of course, there's one critical word missing from this discussion of

diet soda: aspartame (the controversial artificial sweetener).

 

The diabetes factor

 

For HSI members, the link between type 2 diabetes and fizzy drink

consumption will not come as a surprise.

In a 2004 e-Alert I told you about a Harvard study that examined nine

years of dietary and medical data on more than 51,000 women who

participated in the Nurses' Health Study II. From this group, well over

700 cases of type 2 diabetes were diagnosed during the study period.

The Harvard team concluded that excess calories and high levels of

rapidly absorbable sugars in non-diet soft drinks promoted weight gain

and a greater risk of developing type 2 diabetes. In fact, women who

drank one or more soft drinks per day had an 80 percent increased risk

of type 2 diabetes compared to women who didn't drink sodas.

Not surprisingly, a soft drink trade group disagreed with the Harvard

results. Their spokesperson stated that "unhealthy lifestyles" are to

blame for obesity and diabetes, not soft drink consumption.

But he's neglecting one key fact: Daily soft drink consumption fits in

perfectly with an unhealthy lifestyle.



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

1977 vs. 2007

Posted on Oct 30, 2007

1977: Long hair
2007: Longing for hair

1977: KEG
2007: EKG

1977: Acid rock
2007: Acid reflux

1977: Moving to California because it's cool
2007: Moving to California because it's warm

1977: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1977: Seeds and stems
2007: Roughage

1977: Hoping for a BMW
2007: Hoping for a BM

1977: The Grateful Dead
2007: Dr. Kevorkian

1977: Going to a new, hip joint
2007: Receiving a new hip joint

1977: Rolling Stones
2007: Kidney Stones

1977: Being called into the principal's office
2007: Calling the principal's office

1977: Screw the system
2007: Upgrade the system

1977: Disco
2007: Costco

1977: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2007: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1977: Passing the drivers' test
2007: Passing the vision test

1977: Whatever
2007: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.

The people who will start college this fall across the nation were born in 1989.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "De plane, Boss, De plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and don't even have any idea who J. R. is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well".....



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Goof up's!!

Posted on Oct 30, 2007

Preach it!

--The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks On the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching For Jesus."

--At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Suffer the little children

--For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--Sunday School: Children will be led in sinning and Bible study.

The Power of Prayer

--Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

--Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

--Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

After the worship service...

--This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

--Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Ladies, Ladies

--The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

--Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

--Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

--The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Which Door Do I Use?

--The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

--Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

No Good Deed Will Go Unpunished

--Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

--Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Making Faces at Dog

Posted on Oct 29, 2007

AP

CHELSEA, Vt. (June 7) - A prosecutor has dropped charges against a woman who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog.

"Prosecuting a woman for `staring' at a police dog is absurd," said her lawyer. "People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It's constitutional expression," said public defender Kelly Green, who represented Jayna Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a July 31 incident in West Fairlee in which police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl. They were approached by Hutchinson, who told one officer she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved.

She asked Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman to take her statement but he refused, telling her she smelled like alcohol and was drunk but that he would take her statement at another time.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman's cruiser, where his dog Max was waiting, putting her face within inches of the window and "staring at him in a taunting/harassing manner," Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

"While the defendant taunted my canine, Max was focused on the defendant and the perceived threat she presented to him," the affidavit said. "He was no longer focused on me and the other officers at the scene."

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding the resisting arrest charge because she pulled her arms and upper body away during the arrest. She registered 0.21 percent blood-alcohol content on a breath test, more than twice the legal limit for drivers in Vermont.

On Tuesday, two days before Hutchinson was to go to trial, Orange County State's Attorney Will Porter decided to drop the charges, after viewing a videotape of the incident over the weekend.

"I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog's behavior," Porter said. "Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that."

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest, Porter said.

 



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

money.....

Posted on Oct 29, 2007

"History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and its issuance."
James Madison
Learn more

 

The Government should create, issue, and circulate all the currency and credits needed to satisfy the spending power of the Government and the buying power of consumers. By the adoption of these principles, the taxpayers will be saved immense sums of interest."
Abraham Lincoln
Learn more

"You are a den of vipers and thieves. I intend to rout you out, and by the Eternal God, I will rout you out... If people only understood the rank injustice of the money and banking system, there would be a revolution by morning."
Andrew Jackson
Learn more



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

What does Love mean?

Posted on Oct 27, 2007

WHAT LOVE MEANS TO AGE 4 TO 8 YEAR OLD CHILDREN

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

 


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8

 


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

 


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

 


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

 


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

 


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

 


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

 


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

 


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

 


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7

 


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

 


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

 


"My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6

 


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Elaine-age 5

 


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

 


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"

Mary Ann - age 4

 


"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Lauren - age 4

 


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)

Karen - age 7

 


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

Mark - age 6

 


"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

 


And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"


When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.



1 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Quoth the Beatles:

Posted on Oct 27, 2007

Let me tell you how it will be;
There's one for you, nineteen for me.
'Cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small,
Be thankful I don't take it all.
'Cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman.

(if you drive a car, car;) - I'll tax the street;
(if you try to sit, sit;) - I'll tax your seat;
(if you get too cold, cold;) - I'll tax the heat;
(if you take a walk, walk;) - I'll tax your feet.

Taxman!

'Cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman.

Don't ask me what I want it for, (ah-ah, mister Wilson)
If you don't want to pay some more. (ah-ah, mister Heath)
'Cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman.

Now my advice for those who die, (taxman)
Declare the pennies on your eyes. (taxman)
'Cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman.

And you're working for no one but me.

Taxman!

 



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Hehe Medical Terms

Posted on Oct 27, 2007

Benign......................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium......................What you do with dead folks. Because of the heat in South Texas, we try to barium as soon as we can around here.

Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan.....................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her. He cauterize as he drove by in his pickup truck.

Colic...........................A sheep dog. Most of the sheep and cow men around here have either blue heelers or colics.

Coma..........................A punctuation mark.

D&C............................Where the Nation's capital is.

Dilate..........................To outlive your kids.

Enema........................Not a friend. They were personal enemas for as long as I can remember.

Fester.........................Quicker than someone else. She always could run fester than anyone on the church track team.

Fibula...........................A small lie.

G.I.Series.....................World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.

Impotent......................Distinguished, well known. Mr. Jones was on of the most impotent men in the whole Canyon.

Labor Pain....................Getting hurt at work.

Morbid..........................A higher offer than I bid at the local sheep auction.

Nitrates........................Nitrates around here are always cheaper than dayrates.

Medical Staff.................A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node.............................I knew it. I node that boy since he was a kid.

Outpatient....................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear....................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative..............A letter carrier.

Recovery Room............Place to do upholstery.

Secretion......................Hiding something.

Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor..........................More than one.

Urine............................Opposite of mine. There are things that belong to me, then there are urine.

Varicose........................Near by. He slept varicose to the fireplace since it was such a cold night.

********
Laughter is really contagious!

If you see two people laughing at a joke you didn't hear, chances are you will smile anyway--even if you don't realize it.

According to a new study, laughter truly is contagious: the brain responds to the sound of laughter and preps the muscles in the face to join in the mirth.



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Excuses!!

Posted on Oct 27, 2007

Excuses written to teachers

"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," wrote a

parent. "Please execute him."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was sick

and I had her shot."

These drastic measures were inadvertently taken in notes written by parents

to excuse their children's absences from school.

In all fairness to pupils throughout the land, I must point out that

slaughtering the English language is a practice that is not limited opnly to

students. An astonishing number of grownups blithely go about murdering the

King's English without any inkling that they are committing a serious crime.

If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check

out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads. the following are

actual excuse notes received by teachers.

Dear School:

Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32,

and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of

a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was

hurt in the growing part.

Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very

close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (several

mispellings of diarrhea crossed out) the shits.

Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his

boots leak.

Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because

I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forget to

get the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday,

we thought it was Sunday.

Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not

find him till I started making the beds.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend a

funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the

weekend with the Marine's.

Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with

gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,

headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore

throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't

the berst either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going

around school, her father even got hot last night.

 

 

 



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Words of Wisdom

Posted on Oct 26, 2007

Source Unknown

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it
.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20 and never see him again; it was probably worth it.

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either!

Wisdom comes from good judgment and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

 

 

 



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Ch:ief Big Foot Village

Posted on Oct 26, 2007

Ch:ief Big Foot Village in 1890 on Cheyenne River

 

A Site with lots of pictures....thumbnails, you can click on and enlarge...dating back to the 1800's of the Natiive American's and Chinese in this country at that time...really a History in pictures...of this area...really interesting stuff!!

http://lcweb2.loc.gov/intldl/mtfhtml/mfdigcol/lists/mtfgrpTitles1.html Chief Big Foot Village in 1890 is 3rd photo on attached list.



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Chinese & Other Proverbs

Posted on Oct 26, 2007

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. -Chinese Proverb

If you are planning for a year, sow rice. If you are planning for a decade, plant trees. If you are planning for a lifetime, educate people. -Chinese Proverb

If you can talk, you can sing; if you can walk, you can dance. -African Proverb

Tell me who's your friend, and I'll tell you who you are.

-Russian Proverb

A joy that's shared is a joy made double.

-John Ray, English Proverbs

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

-Swedish Proverb

Man plans; God laughs. -Yiddish Saying

When elephants fight, the grass always is the one that suffers. -Swahili Saying

As a nail sticketh between a door and a hinge, so sticketh sin between buying and selling. -Anabaptist Saying

Wherever the heart is, the feet don't hesitate to go.

-Togo Saying

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. -Indian Proverb

Visitor's footfalls are like medicine; they heal the sick.

-Bantu Proverb

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. -Zen Saying

The death of an old person is like the loss of a library.

-African Proverb

Money is a good servant but a bad master.

-H.G.Bohn, Handbook of Proverbs

Danger and delight grow on one stalk. -English Proverb

When "Do not evil" has been understood, then learn the harder, braver rule, "Do good."

-Arthur Guiterman, A Poet's Proverbs

The beginning of health is to know the disease.

-Spanish Proverb

It is part of the cure to wish to be cured. -Latin Proverb

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. -Irish Proverb



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Birds & Bees w/ Twist

Posted on Oct 25, 2007

Birds And Bees with a TwistA little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a Chat Room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your Mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.

Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said, "You've Got Male."



2 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Walmart Shopper!! Hehe

Posted on Oct 25, 2007

A Wal-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, Texas,
where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.
The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.
As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the
building.

So A woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.....On the
first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.






The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.





The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow", so she goes to the fourth floor, and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking
and help with the housework.

"Oh mercy me!" So she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking,
help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are Visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exits solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart's Husband Store.


Have a nice day....

 



1 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Seniors !!

Posted on Oct 25, 2007

http://www.libertyhigh56.net/special%20pages/seniors/seniors.htm

 

 


Sirac 1:10 Fear of the Lord warms the heart, giving gladness and joy and length of days.
(It's Certianly not a servile fear!)



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Brno Czech Republic

Posted on Oct 24, 2007

Don't remember if I sent this site before!!

REALLY neat site, shows the buildings in and around Brno Czech Republic....worth seeing!!


Hi Eddie!

I found some interesting website about sightseeing in my region!

I guess you will enjoy!

http://www.brno.cz/toCP1250/index.php?nav01=2&nav02=2222&nav03=84&lan=en

Cheers,



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

IF I KNEW

Posted on Oct 24, 2007

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

The Puzzel

Posted on Oct 24, 2007

As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the

seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the

driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several

off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my

pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the

contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets

and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything

there."

 

As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the

man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though

we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.

And we'd like to see just how you do it."

Isaias 48:22 There is no peace for the wicked, says the Lord



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Really cool site....

Posted on Oct 23, 2007

Seniors

http://www.libertyhigh56.net/special%20pages/seniors/seniors.htm



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Lord's 'Secret Service"

Posted on Oct 23, 2007

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and

the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake

hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord,

Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas

and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Eccl. 28:10 Refrain from strife, and you shall diminish your sins.



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

The Jackpot

Posted on Oct 23, 2007

Martin is having a tough time in Las Vegas. Eventually, he

gambles away all of his money and has to borrow a quarter from

another gambler, just to use the men's room.

 

He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the

quarter.

 

Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter

in a slot machine and hits the jackpot.

 

He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns

his modest winnings into a million dollars.

 

Soon, with a little smart money management, Martin is wealthy

beyond his wildest dreams, and goes on the lecture circuit,

where he tells his incredible story.

 

At the end of every lecture he tells his audiences that he will

always be grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the

man he will share his fortune with him.

 

After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and

says, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter."

 

Martin peers at him from the stage and says, "Yes, I remember

you, but you aren't the one I'm looking for. I was talking about

the guy who left the stall door open!"



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

For MS Victims

Posted on Oct 22, 2007

dailyhealth@electricmessage.co.uk

11 Oct 2007

http://www.electricmessage.co.uk/hsi

Dear Reader,

According to the latest research findings high doses of up to 280,000
international units (IU) of vitamin D3 per week appear to be safe to
administer to multiple sclerosis (MS) patients.
Vitamin D has been found to be reduced in the blood of individuals
suffering from the disease, and raising levels by administering the
vitamin may prove to be beneficial.

***********************************************
Assessing the results
***********************************************

Researcher, Samantha M Kimball of the University of Toronto and her
colleagues gave twelve men and women in the active stage of MS 1,200
milligrams of calcium per day and a weekly dose of vitamin D that was
increased over six visits from 28,000 IU at the beginning of the study
to 280,000 IU at the end of 28 weeks.

Serum 25-hydroxyvitamin D, calcium, parathyroid hormone, liver enzymes
and creatinine levels (which assess kidney function), as well as
urinary calcium and creatinine were measured at the beginning of the
study, at each patient visit, and three months after the end of the
treatment period.

Although the participants' serum concentrations of 25-hydroxyvitamin D
rose to double the top of the normal range by the end of the study,
serum calcium levels and urinary calcium to creatinine did not increase
or exceed safe levels. In addition, disease progression and activity
did not appear to be affected by vitamin D treatment, yet the brain
lesions that are characteristic of the disease were reduced from an
average of 1.75 per patient to 0.83.

The researchers concluded that: "The widespread use of vitamin D
supplements (1000 IU)/d) has been advised as a simple way to improve
many aspects of public health. The present study provides an objective
confirmation that the recent proposal by Hathcock et al is appropriate
i.e., an upper limit of 250 micrograms/day (10 000 IU/d) for vitamin D
intake can be justified."



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top

Life's Rules

Posted on Oct 22, 2007


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like slinlkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Isaias 24:3 With desolation shalll the earth be laid waste, and it shall be utterly spoiled: For the Lord has spoken this word



0 Comments | Link to This | Back to top



Created with ShoutPost